A deep breathe-some tears-a lot of Prayers

Well it’s been a long week. This is what’s been going on:

*Took my truck in, it was not acting right. Well I now need a new engine. The engine will last 2 days – or 6 months or maybe a year. Cost if they can find a used engine $1,800.00. Ok Lord, let’s watch and see what You do. I need to sell the tractor to pay for the engine.

*The man came and put a new glow bar in my gas stove. While he was testing it, the safety switch would not shut off. Now I’m not to use the stove at all until it’s fixed, this Tuesday or Wednesday. Cost $250.00 for safety switch, glow bar was $166. The Lord sent someone to buy a hand gun I have which will pay the the safety switch. Thank you Lord. Now I’ll have a new stove, which will cost more than a brand new one.

I am glad I have a grill and a two eye gas stove outside.

*Well I had the stove man check the washer and dishwasher while he was here, ( so I would not have to pay another service call fee). The washer needs the arms that hold the tub in place. And the dish washer needs a sprayer bar. But they are cheap and he’ll bring them out with the safety switch. Thank you Lord. I’m taking very deep breaths with a few tears.

*Then I go out to mow the grass, I have 2 push mowers. To start, the best one, I had to turn on it’s side to get a string that was around the blade. Well when I set it back up right there was oil on the ground. So this house wife went and got a quart of oil to refill it. Would you not do the same? Well it took the whole quart. I started it up and mowed for about 10 minutes and the thing started smoking really bad. So I shut it off and called a guy. Did you know a push mower is Not supports to have a whole quart of oil? I didn’t. So he tells me to drain it. I ask, How? He said there’s a plug, or tip it again to drain it out. Well I looked and looked, could not find a plug, so I tipped it again. I got the right amount of oil in it. And mowed for an hour, and it stopped working. Ok Lord thank you I have another mower. So I go get it going, and mow another hour when it dies. Ok Lord, this yard really needs mowing. So inside I go to rest and cry a bit. I go back out and try that mower again, it starts. Thank you Lord. I mow another hour and it stops yet again. Then it dawns on me, the mower stops when it’s hot.  Sure enough I go back out when it cools off and it starts. Thank you Lord. Then I have to turn it off to take a phone call. I go back out and I don’t have the strength now to pull the cord to start it. Ok Lord, no more mowing today. Will this mower or mowers start again today? I am praying hard they will.

*The closet that holds the hot water heater has a hole in the floor to the ground. The main bathroom floor has dropped 2 inches. The landlords just left and they said they’d fix it tomorrow. Thank you Lord. While they were here they treated all the ant hills in the yard. Thank you Lord. They said all their rentals were having the same problems with ants.

Things I learned:

*I have also learned I do not have enough hands to do all that needs doing. Yard is clean – house a mess or yard a mess and house clean. I have to find the middle ground somewhere. Please Lord.

*A push mower does not need a whole quart of oil. And you need  good arm muscles to keep starting them.

*The Lord always sends people to help you in His time.

*Prayer is so much better than worrying. Worrying never fix a thing, while prayer fixes everything.

*Tears are good, they clean your eyes and heart.

*There is always something good to be found in the bad things that happen. In ALL things give thanks. I forgot to do this with the mowers and stove. And the Lord will still work everything out for my good.

Thank you Lord for Your mercy and grace.

Well let’s see what happens today on the farm.

Have a great day and God bless you all.

Becky

This & That 1/29/09

I have not had a lot to say. ( alright now, no laughing) And I’m not sure what else needs to be posted on stocking foods and getting ready for the hard times ahead. I have been doing a lot of reading on the Internet, and checking on everyone. This site is still showing a lot of hits on stocking up and canning potatoes, etc.
I’m not liking what I hear on the News: more job loses, more people losing their homes, more companies lay off and closing down, and now the recall on peanut products. This mess will not be leaving us any time soon. So I’ll continue to keep a watch on our money, keep stocking, and keep looking for more ways to save money. And I’ll post any new finds I find out about.
Here we have seen good days and bad days but/and overly blessed. But we are still kicking hard. And we are thankful for grace and mercy for each day. This world is not our home. Tommy has good and bad days. And still loves his mp3 player. While he listened to it this morning, he found a loving message from Tommielynn. I did not even know she put it on there. But it brought a wonderful smile to Tommy’s face.
Tommielynn has stayed up late with Tommy a few nights, watching and helping him. I was informed by her that I needed my sleep and it was her alone time with her daddy. She has been a great help to me in helping with Tommy’s care. I am so very blessed to have a wonderful family.
With the weather not being the greatest(snow, rain), I admit I’ve been using the dryer for the clothes. In a way it’s been nice using it. (It does save some time, but also uses more power). Well I’ll use it as a treat for me. And it really only took the power bill up about $20, not bad for using it 4-5 times a week for about a month. This last week’s weather has been really different: one day is shorts, and the next layered clothes. No wonder I can’t get rid of this head cold.
Well I hope you all have a great day.
Becky

Update and My Wings

TJ, Tex and Janet came up this past weekend. They got the tools out of the shop, so we can close it and stop paying rent there. They also got two large buffets out of our living room. This really open it up. And will allow Tommy to use his walker easier now. Now I have to find a place for everything that was in them. I still have some boxes in the floor. TJ put a part on the truck. We all worked hard this past weekend. Thank you all again for everything you did and all your help.
I sold the milk cow this past Tuesday, a mixed blessing. No more milking but also no more milk. TommieLynn is so very happy to be done with milking. I froze and canned some milk yesterday. And I thought I’d get to sleep in Wednesday morning, well only until 7:30 am as the dogs woke me up wanting out, oh well. And this morning, I am up at 4 am coughing really hard, but I will let the dogs out and go back to bed. I’m still fighting this yuck in my chest, and I’m almost done with round two of antibiotics and on my 5th bag of Halls cough drops, and week 5 of this. I have tried everything under the sun, even herbs. How long can this last???
It rained really hard yesterday and is to do the same today. We had rivers going through the fields and in the yard. The poor chickens looked so funny, them being all wet and muddy. Tommy told me to tie a rope to the truck and tied it to the porch. It was bad, we have not had that much rain in years. Yes, here we really needed it but didn’t want it all in one day.
A friend, Jenny, said the Lord was giving me my wings, when I talked to her last week. To be honest it felt like He was cutting my wings, with all the changes. Jenny said He was giving me my wings to fly. And at the time (last week) I felt grounded, very grounded. I didn’t feel like flying, and did not see it that way. And this really bothered me. Why I could not see what someone else saw. So the more I thought about it, the clearer it became. The things being taken away, the changes being made, were to lighten my load so I could fly. A bird can’t fly when it’s loaded down with things it really does not need. I see it like a bird who’s wing was broke, and it could not fly for a while, but still remembers flying. And has to wait for the wing to heal, and then relearn to fly again. Or like the fighting roosters tied to a little house, they can move some but can’t fly very high or far. I have always like the song, “ On the Wings of a Snow White Dove”, so Tommy has brought me doves over the years. And as I looked around my house at all the doves, I remembered, He sends His love on the wings of a dove. Now I see that the Lord is teaching me to fly again, and like the birds learning to fly again, it’s hard work and it hurts. And some birds don’t want to leave what they have known, being grounded by string or broken wing or just caged. They have forgotten what it is like to fly. I too, have forgotten what it’s like to fly, but I am remembering now. I want to fly again. I have allowed things and people to ground/ cage me. But my wings are healing and the door is opening, freedom is in the air. And just like the birds, I too, will fly through the storms of life or soar above them. I want others to see His love on my wings again, I want to fly for Him. To bad, I did not see all this sooner, so as not to fight it so hard. But I am thankful the Lord did not give up on me and keep at me to fly again. Is the Lord working on your wings?? Are you grounded or caged? Has something in life broken one of your wings? The Lord is waiting for you to fly again, He’s waiting to heal you, too.
Come fly with me.
Becky

Comments:

1. Becky, As always, you are an inspiration.  ) What beautiful insight into our growth process. May God continue to bless you as you stretch your wings and fly once again. In Him, Stacie  Comment by arksoaper | January 7, 2009 |

2. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes I forget the Lord has to prune us and our lives so that we can grow closer to Him. Hope you are feeling better soon. Comment by Country Lady | January 8, 2009 |

3. Nice post Becky… hoping your changes bring even bigger and better changes in your life.. take care and know that God is always near especially at times like these… Janine Comment by Janine | January 11, 2009 |

4. Why can’t they do a fentanyl (spelling) pump implant? That way your hubby can push the button for extra relief when needed, yet not use as much when not needed. It is very common for people with terminal pain to have the wire implanted for the pain pump on demand. It’s not exactly important to worry about “hooking” someone on drugs when the case is terminal. Pain relief is more important than any thing else. You really have a crappy hospice. I am so very sorry you are going through this with such poor support there. Is there anyway at all you could have access to a different doctor or program?
   I will pray for your husband and your family. Comment by teri | January 12, 2009 |

5. And just like the birds, I too, will fly through the storms of life or soar above them. Your post was very moving for me. My family and I have had to learn to fly through the storms and soar above them!!!! I am new to this web site. I do understand the terrible dreaded “C” word. My husband was diagnosed with cancer last year. God was good. We had a growth - tumor removed from behind his left ear in May’08. He went back a week later to have the drain tube removed only to be told the tumor was cancer; however there were parts left behind. The doctors had to make a treatment plan for him. They told us because he was young and a strong healthy man that he could handle the sink being thrown at him. We went through our chemo and our radiation and now dealing with some hearing loss and vertigo - we are blessed that he is getting great results from his 3 month follow ups. As a spouse watching her husband go through all of it, it is very traumatic. You want to take their pain - their sickness away and all one can do is hold their hand or head through the rough times. During the good times, we made them our best. We have a small child - 5 yrs old. He still worries that Daddy will go to heaven. We are constantly reassuring him that Daddy is ok.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Comment by Tara | January 29, 2009 |

6. Tara, I will keep your family in my prayers. As I know first hand what everyone is going through. Remember to take care of your self too. Becky Comment by Becky | January 31, 2009 |

Come on Down to the Farm

Fifteen Things God Won't Ask

Found this at http://www.hillbillyhousewife.com/blog/?page_id=69 at bottom of page. I really liked it, thought you all might like too.

God won’t ask what kind of car you drove, but will ask how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation.

God won’t ask the square footage of your house, but will ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

God won’t ask about the fancy clothes you had in your closet, but will ask how many of those clothes helped the needy.

God won’t ask about your social status, but will ask what kind of class you displayed.

God won’t ask how many material possessions you had, but will ask if they dictated your life.

God won’t ask what your highest salary was, but will ask if you compromised your character to obtain that salary.

God won’t ask how much overtime you worked, but will ask if you worked overtime for your family and loved ones.

God won’t ask how many promotions you received, but will ask how you promoted others.

God won’t ask what your job title was, but will ask if you reformed your job to the best of your ability.

God won’t ask what you did to help yourself, but will ask what you did to help others.

God won’t ask how many friends you had, but will ask how many people to whom you were a true friend.

God won’t ask what you did to protect your rights, but will ask what you did to protect the rights of others.

God won’t ask in what neighborhood you lived, but will ask how you treated your neighbors.

God won’t ask about the color of your skin, but will ask about the content of your character.

God won’t ask how many times your deeds matched your words, but will ask how many times they didn’t.