An Update On Tommy---The Lord does it again

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 05, 2009 09:30 PM, EST
Tommy is in the hospital tonight and should be home tomorrow. I had to call 911 at about 11am to come and get him. He was having a hard time breathing, his skin was more yellow, and his pulse keep going higher.
The doctor in ER said that Tommy’s blood enzyme (?Spell) were very low and his hemoglobin (?spell)was really low, which was making it hard for him to breath and making him feel like he was smothering. Tommy’s blood was not carrying oxygen like it was supports too. The doctor believes the cancer has gotten into the bone marrow and is eating the red cells. They are giving Tommy 2 pints of red blood cells tonight, which will help him feel better and breath easier. This is only a kind of quick fix and will only last a few weeks at most. Kind of like giving him morphine for pain. Tommy can chose to get more blood but we have no insurance and this time we with in through the ER. The ER doctor said that the 2 pints of red blood cells were very expensive. I don’t know what to do next? But tonight he is getting them. The rest is in the Lord’s hands.
Tommy was looking a little better when I left, but very tired. He was not as pale looking. Please keep praying for us. And thank you all for your prayers.
Becky
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 06, 2009 09:15 AM, CST
mom called from hospital this morning dads hospice dropped his case last night we need hard fast pray now for a new hospice to pick up Tommy please pray hard
Tasha
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 07, 2009 04:11 PM, EST
Thursday evening: After Tommy was settled into his room and I had talked to the nurses, we went home. By this time it was really dark, ( I can’t see to drive at night, I’m blinded by on coming head lights). So I followed Tasha in her car, which really helped. Well about a mile from the hospital, my windshield was dirty, so I sprayed it and turned on the wipers. Well being my brain was not working well- my windshield is now a sheet of ice, while driving down the road. I had to roll down the drivers window to see to pull over. Tasha came back to see why I had pulled over, I told her- she said mom it’s 10 degrees. I just cried as I scraped ice off the windshield. The Lord then got us home safe and sound. Thank you Lord. After we got home I called some family with the update on Tommy and thankfully they passed it on to others. I was so very tired both mind and body. I prayed all night: Lord, will you please send us a better hospice or give ours now a heart to help Tommy. Friday: I awoke praying the same prayer. Tommy called a little after 8am saying the doctor had been there and he was ready to go home. I started getting ready to go get him; and dread, worry, fear started to cover me and I started shaking. It all came on so fast and that to scared me. Instead of letting my mind have it’s way - I started saying the 23rd Psalm out loud then said 2 Timothy 1:7 “My God did not give me the spirit of fear: but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.” I kept repeating these two all the way to the hospital. It was a fight, and by the time I got to the hospital, I was calmed down and had peace. Thank you Lord.
I went in and talked to Tommy and then went to tell the nurses I was there. While I was packing up Tommy’s things, his room phone rung. I answered it. It was the hospices head RN, I told her I was going to call as soon as I got home. She said no need too, that they dropped/discarded Tommy’s case last night and we could not leave the hospital until we found another hospice to take up his care. I asked, Why? She said because I had took Tommy to an uncontracted hospital for treatment. I said he was having trouble breathing. She said, we are no longer his hospice and hung up.
I can honestly say, if I had not prayed all morning- I know I would have lost my mind with a nerves breakdown. Thank you Lord for preparing me. Now I’m in total shock!!Tommy saw my face turn white as I was hanging up, and started to ask me, but I just held up my hand for him to give me a minute. I took a few deep breaths and tried so hard to pray but worry and fear came in again fast. So I told Tommy everything. Then started making phone calls asking for fast prayer, as I just could not seem to get the prayers out at that moment. Then I called our family doctor( they had set us up with the first hospice) and told them what happened(they had told me to take Tommy fast to an ER yesterday), She said she would look into it and get back to me. Honestly, now I’m shaking and wrapped tight in fear and worry and my mind is on overload. I asked to talk to the head nurse to see about talking to the hospitals social worker, she said she’d send her to the room. So I go back to the room to wait. Tommy says he wants a candy bar, so off I go to get him one. While on my way back to the room a small voice says, ”You asked for a new hospice, but I’ll do it My way.” I started crying and asking for forgiveness for my lack of faith and for worrying. And an overwhelming peace filled me. Thank you Lord. I walked into Tommy’s room crying and he asked why. I told him of my prayer last night and this morning and our answer coming. He cried too. We both thank the Lord and took a few deep breaths. We both had to fight hard to keep fear and worry away and hang on tight to His words for a few hours. We kept talking about all the prayers He has answered over the years. Then the call came from our family doctor, they found us a new hospice who would pick up Tommy’s case. And would be coming to the hospital as soon as our doctor signed and faxed them the paper work. Tommy and I gave thanks again to the Lord. They came and we signed papers.
Tommy and I left the hospital about 3 pm. The new hospice nurse was at our house at 5 pm. She was wonderful, and said they would get Tommy’s pain under control ASP. Tasha came home while she was still here. I had sent her out for a fast food dinner. I was totally worn out with no strength left to make dinner. Thank you Tasha for running into town for me.
The nurse called me an hour and a half later: She said that so far with the information she was plugging in, they would cover his cancer, but not sure yet if they could cover his COPD breathing meds, but no matter what I could keep the oxygen machine. With a peaceful heart, I told her ,“to do what she could do and the Lord would see to the rest. If it turns out we have to buy his COPD meds and inhalers that the Lord would provide them or a way to get them.” She said, “ she agreed as she to has seen the Lord answer prayers and knows He takes care of His own.” Tommy’s and my bodies are worn out , but our spirits are joyful and peaceful.
Thank you Lord for walking us through yet another day and for blessing us so. And answering prayers in Your way and in Your time. Thank you for forgiving us of our weak faith and trust.
Today looking back I now see: the Lord prepared me for bad news ( hospice letting us go), reminding me He is still answering my prayers in His way and His time, walking with us in what felt like our darkest hours, strengthening our faith and trust in Him, renewing our hope in hospice people. Thank you Lord. But in order for us to grow in him, and our faith and trust to grow: we must go through trials, fears, unknowns, lonely times to be able to see His hands and love in it all. That’s were faith and trust become stronger with each trial we look back on. When going through trials we do not always feel Him near us and helping us- But He NEVER leaves us- not even when we don’t feel him. Thank you Lord for carrying my family through another trial. And please help us to always remember this trial and the work you did in it when the next trial comes.
Saturday: Tommy had some pain last night but morphine stop it. The new hospice nurse was out this morning. She is going to be asking the new hospice doctor Monday morning for: morphine sulfate MSER 100 mg (she said if by second dose it’s not working they will up it); a new sleeping pill, a much stronger anti- inflammatory, and a few other things. What a great blessing not having to wait a week plus for something to work and go up on dose.
Tommy had corn beef hash and eggs to eat. Then watched some Netflix's. And is now going out on the porch to get some vitamin D with it 70 it’s nice and warm for him.
I can’t thank you all enough for all your prayers, Thank you.
God Bless you all,
Becky

Comments:

1. Becky,
   I have been reading your posts for several months. You are the reason I started my food stock pile. You gave me a place to start. I am thankful for your guidance. You seem to be such a hard worker and I admire you for holding your family together. I know the Lord must have blessings for you a plenty. I was so happy to read that Tommy got a new hospice. Thank you Lord!!! I will continue to pray for you, Tommy and your family. I live by the saying, “when one door closes another one opens! The old hospice door closed, but another one opened! Wonderful. Comment by Holli | February 7, 2009 |

2. I am so sorry you have to go through all this. I am glad though that you love the Lord. I always wonder how people cope who do not know the Lord. Its true we grow the most when times are toughest. I will pray for you and Tommy and your family every time I think of you. It was good to read what you wrote about praying and then thanking God. Sometimes we pray for help but forget the give thanks when we get it. take care blessings  debbieo Comment by Debbieo | February 7, 2009 |

3. Becky,
   My wife and i have read you blog for a while and found it very inspiring that someone with so little has been able to accomplish so much. You are really amazing. I recently had a close brush with death and was convinced i only had a short time left and i was so scared and kept thinking “why me?”. But after a while i started to realize that I have to just let go and have complete faith that everything happens for a reason and that pertains to both the good and the bad. Often times we are not meant to understand why, but we must faith. We are all going to depart this earth eventually but its just a matter of how and when. But its up to us to decide what we will do with the time that we have been given and always remember that death is not the end but is only the beginning. Best Wishes, Maximus Comment by Maximus | February 9, 2009 |

Weekend – It’s been good

Tommy has had a good weekend. He was up during the day and slept at nights. There was a few bouts with pain but the morphine helped. It was great having him up during the day.  And he really enjoyed being up with us.

Tasha and Carl, helped me to get some more things out of the shop. We have until the 15th to get everything else out, almost done, maybe just one more trip. Thank you Carl for your help.

It has been a long time since we have had an easy and good weekend. Thank you Lord. Tommy was able to help me fix things and he got some other things done.  Which made him feel useful.

The weather still does not know what it wants to do, one day cold and the next hot.

The girls are doing good. And Tasha’s belly is getting bigger.  The farm is doing good.

Thank you Lord for all your blessings, love, and mercy.

Becky

Technorati Tags: update,Tommy,family,blessings

An Update On Tommy---The Lord does it again

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 05, 2009 09:30 PM, EST
Tommy is in the hospital tonight and should be home tomorrow. I had to call 911 at about 11am to come and get him. He was having a hard time breathing, his skin was more yellow, and his pulse keep going higher.
The doctor in ER said that Tommy’s blood enzyme (?Spell) were very low and his hemoglobin (?spell)was really low, which was making it hard for him to breath and making him feel like he was smothering. Tommy’s blood was not carrying oxygen like it was supports too. The doctor believes the cancer has gotten into the bone marrow and is eating the red cells. They are giving Tommy 2 pints of red blood cells tonight, which will help him feel better and breath easier. This is only a kind of quick fix and will only last a few weeks at most. Kind of like giving him morphine for pain. Tommy can chose to get more blood but we have no insurance and this time we with in through the ER. The ER doctor said that the 2 pints of red blood cells were very expensive. I don’t know what to do next? But tonight he is getting them. The rest is in the Lord’s hands.
Tommy was looking a little better when I left, but very tired. He was not as pale looking. Please keep praying for us. And thank you all for your prayers.
Becky
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 06, 2009 09:15 AM, CST
mom called from hospital this morning dads hospice dropped his case last night we need hard fast pray now for a new hospice to pick up Tommy please pray hard
Tasha
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 07, 2009 04:11 PM, EST
Thursday evening: After Tommy was settled into his room and I had talked to the nurses, we went home. By this time it was really dark, ( I can’t see to drive at night, I’m blinded by on coming head lights). So I followed Tasha in her car, which really helped. Well about a mile from the hospital, my windshield was dirty, so I sprayed it and turned on the wipers. Well being my brain was not working well- my windshield is now a sheet of ice, while driving down the road. I had to roll down the drivers window to see to pull over. Tasha came back to see why I had pulled over, I told her- she said mom it’s 10 degrees. I just cried as I scraped ice off the windshield. The Lord then got us home safe and sound. Thank you Lord. After we got home I called some family with the update on Tommy and thankfully they passed it on to others. I was so very tired both mind and body. I prayed all night: Lord, will you please send us a better hospice or give ours now a heart to help Tommy. Friday: I awoke praying the same prayer. Tommy called a little after 8am saying the doctor had been there and he was ready to go home. I started getting ready to go get him; and dread, worry, fear started to cover me and I started shaking. It all came on so fast and that to scared me. Instead of letting my mind have it’s way - I started saying the 23rd Psalm out loud then said 2 Timothy 1:7 “My God did not give me the spirit of fear: but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.” I kept repeating these two all the way to the hospital. It was a fight, and by the time I got to the hospital, I was calmed down and had peace. Thank you Lord.
I went in and talked to Tommy and then went to tell the nurses I was there. While I was packing up Tommy’s things, his room phone rung. I answered it. It was the hospices head RN, I told her I was going to call as soon as I got home. She said no need too, that they dropped/discarded Tommy’s case last night and we could not leave the hospital until we found another hospice to take up his care. I asked, Why? She said because I had took Tommy to an uncontracted hospital for treatment. I said he was having trouble breathing. She said, we are no longer his hospice and hung up.
I can honestly say, if I had not prayed all morning- I know I would have lost my mind with a nerves breakdown. Thank you Lord for preparing me. Now I’m in total shock!!Tommy saw my face turn white as I was hanging up, and started to ask me, but I just held up my hand for him to give me a minute. I took a few deep breaths and tried so hard to pray but worry and fear came in again fast. So I told Tommy everything. Then started making phone calls asking for fast prayer, as I just could not seem to get the prayers out at that moment. Then I called our family doctor( they had set us up with the first hospice) and told them what happened(they had told me to take Tommy fast to an ER yesterday), She said she would look into it and get back to me. Honestly, now I’m shaking and wrapped tight in fear and worry and my mind is on overload. I asked to talk to the head nurse to see about talking to the hospitals social worker, she said she’d send her to the room. So I go back to the room to wait. Tommy says he wants a candy bar, so off I go to get him one. While on my way back to the room a small voice says, ”You asked for a new hospice, but I’ll do it My way.” I started crying and asking for forgiveness for my lack of faith and for worrying. And an overwhelming peace filled me. Thank you Lord. I walked into Tommy’s room crying and he asked why. I told him of my prayer last night and this morning and our answer coming. He cried too. We both thank the Lord and took a few deep breaths. We both had to fight hard to keep fear and worry away and hang on tight to His words for a few hours. We kept talking about all the prayers He has answered over the years. Then the call came from our family doctor, they found us a new hospice who would pick up Tommy’s case. And would be coming to the hospital as soon as our doctor signed and faxed them the paper work. Tommy and I gave thanks again to the Lord. They came and we signed papers.
Tommy and I left the hospital about 3 pm. The new hospice nurse was at our house at 5 pm. She was wonderful, and said they would get Tommy’s pain under control ASP. Tasha came home while she was still here. I had sent her out for a fast food dinner. I was totally worn out with no strength left to make dinner. Thank you Tasha for running into town for me.
The nurse called me an hour and a half later: She said that so far with the information she was plugging in, they would cover his cancer, but not sure yet if they could cover his COPD breathing meds, but no matter what I could keep the oxygen machine. With a peaceful heart, I told her ,“to do what she could do and the Lord would see to the rest. If it turns out we have to buy his COPD meds and inhalers that the Lord would provide them or a way to get them.” She said, “ she agreed as she to has seen the Lord answer prayers and knows He takes care of His own.” Tommy’s and my bodies are worn out , but our spirits are joyful and peaceful.
Thank you Lord for walking us through yet another day and for blessing us so. And answering prayers in Your way and in Your time. Thank you for forgiving us of our weak faith and trust.
Today looking back I now see: the Lord prepared me for bad news ( hospice letting us go), reminding me He is still answering my prayers in His way and His time, walking with us in what felt like our darkest hours, strengthening our faith and trust in Him, renewing our hope in hospice people. Thank you Lord. But in order for us to grow in him, and our faith and trust to grow: we must go through trials, fears, unknowns, lonely times to be able to see His hands and love in it all. That’s were faith and trust become stronger with each trial we look back on. When going through trials we do not always feel Him near us and helping us- But He NEVER leaves us- not even when we don’t feel him. Thank you Lord for carrying my family through another trial. And please help us to always remember this trial and the work you did in it when the next trial comes.
Saturday: Tommy had some pain last night but morphine stop it. The new hospice nurse was out this morning. She is going to be asking the new hospice doctor Monday morning for: morphine sulfate MSER 100 mg (she said if by second dose it’s not working they will up it); a new sleeping pill, a much stronger anti- inflammatory, and a few other things. What a great blessing not having to wait a week plus for something to work and go up on dose.
Tommy had corn beef hash and eggs to eat. Then watched some Netflix's. And is now going out on the porch to get some vitamin D with it 70 it’s nice and warm for him.
I can’t thank you all enough for all your prayers, Thank you.
God Bless you all,
Becky

Comments:

1. Becky,
   I have been reading your posts for several months. You are the reason I started my food stock pile. You gave me a place to start. I am thankful for your guidance. You seem to be such a hard worker and I admire you for holding your family together. I know the Lord must have blessings for you a plenty. I was so happy to read that Tommy got a new hospice. Thank you Lord!!! I will continue to pray for you, Tommy and your family. I live by the saying, “when one door closes another one opens! The old hospice door closed, but another one opened! Wonderful. Comment by Holli February 7, 2009

2. I am so sorry you have to go through all this. I am glad though that you love the Lord. I always wonder how people cope who do not know the Lord. Its true we grow the most when times are toughest. I will pray for you and Tommy and your family every time I think of you. It was good to read what you wrote about praying and then thanking God. Sometimes we pray for help but forget the give thanks when we get it. take care blessings debbieo Comment by Debbieo February 7, 2009

3. Becky,
   My wife and i have read you blog for a while and found it very inspiring that someone with so little has been able to accomplish so much. You are really amazing. I recently had a close brush with death and was convinced i only had a short time left and i was so scared and kept thinking “why me?”. But after a while i started to realize that I have to just let go and have complete faith that everything happens for a reason and that pertains to both the good and the bad. Often times we are not meant to understand why, but we must faith. We are all going to depart this earth eventually but its just a matter of how and when. But its up to us to decide what we will do with the time that we have been given and always remember that death is not the end but is only the beginning. Best WIshes, Maximus Comment by Maximus February 9, 2009

4. Hi,there is some information available at http://ncrf.org/ that you might find helpful. Best wishes to you. Comment by hello February 11, 2009

5. Thank you all for your comments and prayers. And thank you for stopping in here. Have a great day.I am blessed to have you all.Becky
   Comment by Becky February 15, 2009

6. God has answered your prayers. You are no longer stuck with a second rate hospice who seems to have little to no compassion for your husband. Just watch God work for you. As awful as all this is, Jesus is sustaining you. Things will get better. Comment by terilyn February 20, 2009

7. God bless and keep you Becky and your dear Tommy and family.I am meeting you for the 1st time tonight and so happy to know you and am inspired by your love of the Lord, your family, and your kindness to others. I am deeply touchedby your gratefulness, kindness, and humble simple way.Thank you for your good advice-I’m taking it! I’m the mom of 4 and grandma of 1 so far. My family (kids are 21-30) doesn’t know that I have been stockpiling food and necessary stuff for months now. They aren’t watching the horizon. So I pray much for them by God’s grace, and like you, place my trust in Him. Becky, I will pray for you and your husband and family. Much love and prayer in Him,stephanie
   Comment by Stephie February 21, 2009

An Old Treat -- Fast Donuts

Last night I made an old treat here. I have made it before but not for many,many years.

Fast Donuts

• buy a can of the cheapest canned biscuits you can find.
• you will need a deep fryer, like for French fries, or a deep pan with oil.
• a donut topping: cake frosting, cinnamon and sugar, powdered sugar, a glaze, jelly, whatever you like
• open the can of biscuits, flatten each one ( can even stick your finger in the middle if you want a hole there)
• then drop into hot oil, brown each side
  allow to cool just a bit, not to much, just enough to be able to handle
• then add your topping
• these are not as good when cold, but I had no leftovers, so no problem there.


Tommy and TommieLynn loved them and asked when I was making more. I just laughed. I know there are homemade recipes out there but these are fast donuts. I paid 35 cents for a can of 10 biscuits, and had some left over frosting from a cake. If you find a good sale on canned biscuits, open them up and wrap each biscuit in wax paper and place the number you want to use each time in a freezer bag and freeze them. My Granny made these when I was a kid, and we all loved them.
Beware they disappear faster then you can get them cooked.
Becky

Comments:

1. I use to make these when my kids were little. Now they are grown with homes of their own. We would put sugar in a baggie and shake them in that for a topping. Back then biscuits were 23cents a can. You cut them in fourths and fried them, so you got 40 a can. Comment by terilyn February 1, 2009

2. I too used to make these, then the canned biscuits got so expensive. Becky, you are a wonder. I am so blessed reading your site. You are such a good example of how to do things. I enjoy your sharing. Thank you so much and God bless you and yours. debbieo Comment by Debbieo February 2, 2009

3. I definitely agree with Debbieo….I am blessed reading your site. I am blessed in the information you share, the reminders you give me with your posts, the inspiration and the motivation to keep moving in the direction I truly feel led to walk in. Thank you — it’s a full life homesteading and family-steading ) It’s not always easy to find moments to share on the blog, and I am thankful for each moment you give us. Deanna Comment by Deanna February 4, 2009

4. Just checking in to say that I found your site after I canned 49 quarts of potatoes. We left the skin on. We hot packed 21 qts. and cold packed 28. We have eaten the cold packed potatoes several times now: fried, fried, and in soup. Can you tell we like fried potatoes? They were great. I would love to try the cheese making too. My mom used to make donuts like this. My husband takes frozen bread dough, rolls it out into saucer-sized circles, deep-fries it, sprinkles it with cinnamon & sugar, and calls it Elephant Ears. YUMMY! Comment by Crystal February 6, 2009

This & That 1/29/09

I have not had a lot to say. ( alright now, no laughing) And I’m not sure what else needs to be posted on stocking foods and getting ready for the hard times ahead. I have been doing a lot of reading on the Internet, and checking on everyone. This site is still showing a lot of hits on stocking up and canning potatoes, etc.
I’m not liking what I hear on the News: more job loses, more people losing their homes, more companies lay off and closing down, and now the recall on peanut products. This mess will not be leaving us any time soon. So I’ll continue to keep a watch on our money, keep stocking, and keep looking for more ways to save money. And I’ll post any new finds I find out about.
Here we have seen good days and bad days but/and overly blessed. But we are still kicking hard. And we are thankful for grace and mercy for each day. This world is not our home. Tommy has good and bad days. And still loves his mp3 player. While he listened to it this morning, he found a loving message from Tommielynn. I did not even know she put it on there. But it brought a wonderful smile to Tommy’s face.
Tommielynn has stayed up late with Tommy a few nights, watching and helping him. I was informed by her that I needed my sleep and it was her alone time with her daddy. She has been a great help to me in helping with Tommy’s care. I am so very blessed to have a wonderful family.
With the weather not being the greatest(snow, rain), I admit I’ve been using the dryer for the clothes. In a way it’s been nice using it. (It does save some time, but also uses more power). Well I’ll use it as a treat for me. And it really only took the power bill up about $20, not bad for using it 4-5 times a week for about a month. This last week’s weather has been really different: one day is shorts, and the next layered clothes. No wonder I can’t get rid of this head cold.
Well I hope you all have a great day.
Becky

Update and A new find to save money

I’m still kicking. But boy, oh boy is it cold here. It’s 6 degrees this morning. And I can stay in the warm house, as we no longer have the milk cow. So no more frozen fingers and noses. At 6 degrees outside, I’m really glad we sold the cow. Yesterday it did not get above 30 all day. I have seen where some of you are having it colder than me. And even some of you with lots of snow. Burrrrrr.
Tommy’s had good days and bad days. The pain comes and goes from his knees and chest. The morphine seems to help most times. Please keep praying for him.
The farm is still doing good. The chickens are still giving us a lot of eggs, which we are sharing. The beef bull is getting bigger. Hopefully by early summer he can go into the freezer.
My step-son told me about iPod Shuffle player, as I told him when I laid down to rest my mind kicked in on all I had to do. So I got one and downloaded books to it. It has made my rest time better. As hard as I try to stop my mind, well it’s hard to do. Am I worrying? I don’t think so, just going over everything that needs to be done. I have also loaded the iPod with parts of the Bible. And found out my library will allow you to download books free for a week at a time, off their Internet site, as long as you have a library card. They allow 5 books out at a time. They have adults and kids books, this find was a blessing. This is a money saver too. You might want to check with your library too, about this. As I know most kids and adults have some kind of iPod or MP3 players. You can also listen to to books from your computer or burn to Cd’s to play on CD players. I just found out about this last week. So I thought I share what I found out. TommieLynn loves it, as do I.
On another note: For those of you that can foods. Have you stocked up on canning lids? I try and keep about a year’s worth on hand. You never know when you will need them. They store forever, and you can usually buy them year round. Try and buy a pack or two every time you go to town, or when you can. You may not have money this summer to buy them, or power may go off for to long. You may not know when someone will bless you with meat and veg’s, at any time of year. It a small thing, these lids, but you can’t can without them. I ran out once during canning, a lesson learned well.
I have been keeping up with you all here, and glad you all are well. It seems to be a busy time for everyone. Trying to finds ways to save money, stretch what money you do have, looking for jobs, etc. Thank you all for the ideas and ways you have posted as they have helped me, too. This Internet is a blessing too. I have meet wonderful people, made new friends all over the world, got new ideas, and have learned so much.
Well I had better get this day started.
Becky
January 16, 2009 - Posted by Becky Canning, Stocking up, ideas, making do, saving money, update, winter Canning, making do, saving money, Stocking up, winter 4 Comments

4 Comments »
Hi Becky ~Glad to see that things are holding steady for you all. My husband found out his job is being done away with at the end of the month, so we’re sort of in don’t-know-what-to-do mode. Like you always say, God will provide.
I didn’t know about the books! Is it like an audio recording of the books? Or do you have to have one with a little video screen to read the books?
Take care,Denita~~
Comment by D. January 17, 2009

hello Becky.
I came across your website looking to make cheese.Thankyou for sharing this with people.Very generous of you.Im sorry to hear about your husband Tommy and his illnes.This is heartbreaking.How are you holding up thought this???This must be such a huge burden for you to bare.We sold our house in the city and moved to the country and bought a Jersey and Holstein.Im sorry you had to sell your jersey.
You have some fabulous ideas on your website.Im sure I will be watching it daily im addicted!!!
Take care Karen
Comment by karen January 17, 2009

Oh I wanted to ask you if you have ever made hard cheese???
Comment by karen January 17, 2009

Denita,It’s so good to hear from you again. I am sorry about the job loss. But our Lord WILL provide. My family and I are living proof. I will keep you all in my prayers. As for the books: they are audio recording that you can listen to on your computer, or down load to an MP3 player. Most have free download software.( like windows media player or i-tunes)
Karen,Thank you very much for stopping in. I am doing ok, I take one day at a time, and have grace for everyday. How much milk are you getting a day? And no, I have not made hard cheese yet. Tommy was working on a homemade cheese press just before he got sick, and did not get it done. But I have watched a friend, and it looks easy enough.
Becky
Comment by Becky January 17, 2009

Tommy need prayer

Tommy has been up all night and is still up with very bad pain in his knees. His pain meds are not working. See Caring Bridge Site for more. Thank you for your prayers.Beckyhttp://caringbridge.org/visit/tommyjordan
January 12, 2009 - Posted by Becky Uncategorized prayers, Tommy 1 Comment

1 Comment »
Dear Becky and Tommy
Please know I am praying for you both as are all the ladies from the group. Please let us know how things are and how we can support you.
((hugs))
Comment by Jan from Ireland February 4, 2009

Update and My Wings

TJ, Tex and Janet came up this past weekend. They got the tools out of the shop, so we can close it and stop paying rent there. They also got two large buffets out of our living room. This really open it up. And will allow Tommy to use his walker easier now. Now I have to find a place for everything that was in them. I still have some boxes in the floor. TJ put a part on the truck. We all worked hard this past weekend. Thank you all again for everything you did and all your help.
I sold the milk cow this past Tuesday, a mixed blessing. No more milking but also no more milk. TommieLynn is so very happy to be done with milking. I froze and canned some milk yesterday. And I thought I’d get to sleep in Wednesday morning, well only until 7:30 am as the dogs woke me up wanting out, oh well. And this morning, I am up at 4 am coughing really hard, but I will let the dogs out and go back to bed. I’m still fighting this yuck in my chest, and I’m almost done with round two of antibiotics and on my 5th bag of Halls cough drops, and week 5 of this. I have tried everything under the sun, even herbs. How long can this last???
It rained really hard yesterday and is to do the same today. We had rivers going through the fields and in the yard. The poor chickens looked so funny, them being all wet and muddy. Tommy told me to tie a rope to the truck and tied it to the porch. It was bad, we have not had that much rain in years. Yes, here we really needed it but didn’t want it all in one day.
A friend, Jenny, said the Lord was giving me my wings, when I talked to her last week. To be honest it felt like He was cutting my wings, with all the changes. Jenny said He was giving me my wings to fly. And at the time (last week) I felt grounded, very grounded. I didn’t feel like flying, and did not see it that way. And this really bothered me. Why I could not see what someone else saw. So the more I thought about it, the clearer it became. The things being taken away, the changes being made, were to lighten my load so I could fly. A bird can’t fly when it’s loaded down with things it really does not need. I see it like a bird who’s wing was broke, and it could not fly for a while, but still remembers flying. And has to wait for the wing to heal, and then relearn to fly again. Or like the fighting roosters tied to a little house, they can move some but can’t fly very high or far. I have always like the song, “ On the Wings of a Snow White Dove”, so Tommy has brought me doves over the years. And as I looked around my house at all the doves, I remembered, He sends His love on the wings of a dove. Now I see that the Lord is teaching me to fly again, and like the birds learning to fly again, it’s hard work and it hurts. And some birds don’t want to leave what they have known, being grounded by string or broken wing or just caged. They have forgotten what it is like to fly. I too, have forgotten what it’s like to fly, but I am remembering now. I want to fly again. I have allowed things and people to ground/ cage me. But my wings are healing and the door is opening, freedom is in the air. And just like the birds, I too, will fly through the storms of life or soar above them. I want others to see His love on my wings again, I want to fly for Him. To bad, I did not see all this sooner, so as not to fight it so hard. But I am thankful the Lord did not give up on me and keep at me to fly again. Is the Lord working on your wings?? Are you grounded or caged? Has something in life broken one of your wings? The Lord is waiting for you to fly again, He’s waiting to heal you, too.
Come fly with me.
Becky

Comments:

1. Becky, As always, you are an inspiration.  ) What beautiful insight into our growth process. May God continue to bless you as you stretch your wings and fly once again. In Him, Stacie  Comment by arksoaper | January 7, 2009 |

2. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes I forget the Lord has to prune us and our lives so that we can grow closer to Him. Hope you are feeling better soon. Comment by Country Lady | January 8, 2009 |

3. Nice post Becky… hoping your changes bring even bigger and better changes in your life.. take care and know that God is always near especially at times like these… Janine Comment by Janine | January 11, 2009 |

4. Why can’t they do a fentanyl (spelling) pump implant? That way your hubby can push the button for extra relief when needed, yet not use as much when not needed. It is very common for people with terminal pain to have the wire implanted for the pain pump on demand. It’s not exactly important to worry about “hooking” someone on drugs when the case is terminal. Pain relief is more important than any thing else. You really have a crappy hospice. I am so very sorry you are going through this with such poor support there. Is there anyway at all you could have access to a different doctor or program?
   I will pray for your husband and your family. Comment by teri | January 12, 2009 |

5. And just like the birds, I too, will fly through the storms of life or soar above them. Your post was very moving for me. My family and I have had to learn to fly through the storms and soar above them!!!! I am new to this web site. I do understand the terrible dreaded “C” word. My husband was diagnosed with cancer last year. God was good. We had a growth - tumor removed from behind his left ear in May’08. He went back a week later to have the drain tube removed only to be told the tumor was cancer; however there were parts left behind. The doctors had to make a treatment plan for him. They told us because he was young and a strong healthy man that he could handle the sink being thrown at him. We went through our chemo and our radiation and now dealing with some hearing loss and vertigo - we are blessed that he is getting great results from his 3 month follow ups. As a spouse watching her husband go through all of it, it is very traumatic. You want to take their pain - their sickness away and all one can do is hold their hand or head through the rough times. During the good times, we made them our best. We have a small child - 5 yrs old. He still worries that Daddy will go to heaven. We are constantly reassuring him that Daddy is ok.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Comment by Tara | January 29, 2009 |

6. Tara, I will keep your family in my prayers. As I know first hand what everyone is going through. Remember to take care of your self too. Becky Comment by Becky | January 31, 2009 |

Changes in the Mist - Ready Or Not

I have been looking ahead and trying to make a plan before Spring and Summer gets here. There has been a lot of changes in my life this year - some good and some not so good - little and big. I am not very good at change.  Some changes are good for us, some hurt really bad, some don't last to long. My family is smaller in size now, needs are changing from a few years ago, and I'm getting older. We loved are full farm and all it gave us. But now there are not as many hands as before working the farm. And it's finally hit me, I can't run the farm by myself. Don't get me wrong the girls help all they can. But a farm is a  lot of work year round.  And I really would like to spend more time with my family.

So here is some of the ways we are going to down size some:

• I am selling my milk cow as soon as I can. We love the milk but thinking ahead there is no way I can keep the fence lines weed eat or all the fields mowed and do a garden.  And come fall, the thought of loading and unloading a 100 bales of hay for winter use, is not a good picture. And we no longer drink 4-5 gallons of milk a week. So it's time to say good bye to milking.
• The Black Angus Bull now running in the field, will be fatten up and put in the freezer as fast as we can. And while we are eating his meat, I'll put some money back every month to buy a half cow for meat. I know where I can do this cheaper than store prices and the cows are feed the way I feed mine. ( I'll also be able to buy half a hog when needed). So we will still be able to get great meat without all the work. I worked the price out, it's only 50 cents more a pound if someone else raises it.  Which is about $1.09 a pound, cut and wrap and fast froze. Still cheaper than the store meat, and better tasting too.
• My husband is selling his big tractor. We will not be mowing the fields any more or having a great big garden. We are switching to raised beds for most, and making a fenced in area for potatoes. We no longer need a big garden to feed us. I still will be able to get apples and pears off the ground from friends.  So I think I have our food planned out.
• We will keep our chickens for meat and eggs. And sell chickens and eggs.  They are very easy to care for. And I HATE STORE BROUGHT EGGS.
• We have 3 freezers that I would like to get down to using just 1 or 2. Which means canning more meat. 

We  will be growing a few more vegetable and I'll can every thing I can get my hands on.  This new life is going to be really different, as we have lived this way for 10 + years. And it has kept us feed well. But changes are here like it or not. The Word says there is a season for  everything, I guess my season is changing again. Time to learn new things, new and different ways.

Tommy and I are not looking forward to selling the milk cow or his tractor, we worked long and hard for both, Tommy and I together broke the milk cow to hand milking and  she was  born here on the farm, and Tommy has wait years to be able to buy the tractor: but now it's time.

This blog will still be about farm life, now just a mini farm life. And I will still share all I have learned and will be learning here. 

Well for now we will be down sizing to fit our needs better. Will I ever have a full farm again, only the good Lord knows that and He's not told me yet. So for now it's one day at a time, going where the Lord leads us.

Change is in the air,

Becky

Tommy's Tractor

Peaches milk cow, bull meat

Comments:

1. You have some big decisions to make. It sounds like you are up to it. They are unfortunate, but necessary. Realize that not everyone is as insightful as you nor could they look at things so realistically and make the right decisions. Comment by Sheila Smith | December 29, 2008 | 

2. I know there are many tears being shed into your pillow right now. You are having to face some very difficult truths about your family’s health and children coming of age, your finances, and your own physical limitations. I pray God holds you very close, and the Father of mercy comforts you as you pass through all the coming changes. Comment by teri | December 29, 2008 |

3. Good luck- I think you fair just fine.. just so you know we have been church “Searching” and think we may have settled on one here close to us. Thank you for inspiring me and my family in ways you may not even know of….I will keep you and your family in my prayers  Love Amanda Comment by Amanda B | December 31, 2008 |

4. I only just started to read your blog, and find it amazing. I take my hat off to all you do.
   Hope to read more soon. hugs gwen Comment by gwen | January 1, 2009 |

5. [...] bookmarks tagged black angus Changes in the Mist - Ready Or Not « Becky’s Farm … saved by 5 others     mightguy1 bookmarked on 01/01/09 |  Pingback by Pages tagged "black angus" | January 1, 2009 |

6. I haven’t seen an update from you in a few days so I’m hoping that is good news! God bless you today, Becky, as you live for His glory, depending on His grace, one minute at a time. Comment by Georgene | January 5, 2009 |

 

Hands have been full But I'm still blessed

Life has been full lately. Tommy has been having a hard time with pain: Hopefully this is straighten out now. I have been sick for 3 weeks now, and last Thursday I went and got an antibiotic.  And I have been doing only the "have to" chores. The farm is doing good. The girls are fine. The weather does not know what it wants to do- one day cold, next day warm. 

I sure have miss you all. Hopefully I can get back here now and read up on what everyone has been up too. Hope you all had a Merry Christmas. Our Christmas was good. Tommy got a tractor book, he has wanted for a while. TommieLynn got a small MP3 player, which she loves. We had a quiet day.

Tommy is still enjoying Netflix. He said last night that he finally figured out the remote control.  And loves the fact he no longer has to watch commercials.

Scott and Ann came up again for a few days. And they helped out around here. Thank you both very much for your help. And for putting a smile on Tommy's face.

This is from Caring Bridge site this morning.

Good Morning everyone,

I'm sorry it's been so long but it's been a long week. OK here goes:

Friday 19, Three people came out from hospice and talked to Tommy and I for about an hour. They said they would see about a break through med.

Saturday 20, Tommy woke up at 6 am having a hard time breathing. So we moved the oxygen machine into the bedroom. (he now uses the oxygen nightly)He is still hurting but not as bad as before.

Sunday 21, My grandmother died this evening.

Monday 22, At 12:20 am Tommy fell and I woke to a crashing sound. He's not hurt. At 11am, Tommy falls again trying to pick up clothes off the floor. He's not hurt. Then Dr. Burke calls me: and says he has made a mistake and can not take Tommy's case and will give it back to the hospice doctor. And he is really sorry. (now we are not sure if the hospice doctor will take Tommy back.) Then my uncle calls and says my cousin has been in a bad car wreck. Her 3 little girls only had some stitches and are OK. But she was throw from the car. The doctors have put her into a coma as all her face bones are broke and her skull is cracked. Then I go to town to find a walker for Tommy. And while I'm gone he falls again, not hurt. Our pastor bring us gifts from the church and has prayer with us. Very long day, and I'm still fighting this cold/ sinus infection.

Tuesday 23, The hospice nurse came out to get Tommy's vitals and stresses again about the meds and his BP. About 15 minutes after she leaves, a DSS Social Worker (Social Services)came to our door.(OK Lord I'm only one person.) First thing she say to me,"I told my boss before I even left the office that these charges would be unfounded. But by law I have to come out." She said she was sorry about Tommy's cancer and would pray for him and us. And she was really sorry to bother us, but she had to come out. She said the charges were unfounded and wish us a Merry Christmas and left. ( please say a prayer for the person who called them). At 4:30pm the hospice nurse called and Dr. Witt is back on the case and has ordered the drop Morphine immediate release, to be taken .25-.5 ml every 2 hours (before when he had the morphine it was .5-1 ml every hour). But we are very thankful to have it now.

Wednesday 24, Tommy got up really tired and with a little pain. Miss Jenny sent us a lot (I mean a lot) of apples and oranges, and so homemade clothes soap. Tommy just grinned from ear to ear when he seen all the bags of fruit. Thank you very much, Miss Jenny. Please give the boys a hug and kiss from us. This was kind of a very lazy day.

Thursday 25, I was up most of the night coughing which had Tommy up most of the night. Tommy had went out to check something on the truck, and while coming back up the stairs, his knees went weak, he fell to his knees, not hurt. I was there and helped him back up, then made him promise not to go back down without me, he said OK. So TJ and Tex when you get here I need you all to put a hand rail at the back steps, please. Another church brought us 3 Christmas dinners plates and a fruit basket this evening.

Tommy ate more dinner tonight, than he has eaten in a long time. I guess because it was his favorite: fried Chicken and liver, French fries and corn. It was so good to see him eat so much.

Friday 26, Then this morning when I woke up to give Tommy his 4 am pills, He said I already took them at 2 am. I said no you can't do that, he just said sorry. Well at his 6 am pills, I noticed not all the pills were in the slot. So I asked him, he said some fell into the sink at 2 am. One of which was the 40mg pain pill that he can't get again until 10am. So I am praying that his pain will be low until then. I can't give him another 40mg, as the hospice keeps a count of all the pills, every time they come out. and now I'll have to hide the pills from him.

It's been a very long, hard week. But by God's grace and mercy, we have made it through. He even threw in blessings along the way to bless us. Thank you Lord for watching out for us yet again. Thank you all for your prayers. Hope you all had a Merry Christmas.

This has been a very long, hard year for my family. But thank you Lord, you have seen us through it each step of the way, and have poured Your blessings out on us. Thank you Lord for all our friends and family, and all my Internet sisters who have become great friends to me.  Lord, please bless them all.

Becky

Comments:

1. You and your family are in my prayers! Comment by Wendy | December 27, 2008 |

2. Have you considered that a “disgruntled” hospice worker turned your family into DSS? From reading your posts, I am unsure if you are able to afford a lawyer, but it sounds like you need one. If your husband is not getting adequate care and pain management, it is malpractice. He should get adequate care regardless of whether you are fully insured or simply on Medicaid. I would certainly file a complaint with DSS about the false report that was turned in on your family. False reporting is a felony, and the person responsible needs to be prosecuted. I am so sorry your husband is so very ill. Comment by teri | December 27, 2008 |